Spent Too Long in My Own Head
by KTxx
Summary: 'You start to think that maybe it's driving you a little insane.' Nathan. Mentions of Nathan/Haley. Based on season nine spoilers.


**AN: If you don't want spoilers for season9, don't read this.**

Okay, so this whole Nathan storyline sounds awesome and I'm really excited for it, even though I know I'll cry every episode and just hate seeing his family in pain. And I've been thinking about it lately and I thought I'd make this. So everything in here, even the name of the kidnapper guy, is something I've got from spoiler sites.

Also, I'm trying a new writing style, so please let me know what you think of this!

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><p>You don't know why you're here. You're not exactly sure how long it's been since they took you, locked you up and tied you to a chair in a cold dark room.<p>

You just know that it hurts.

You sit, and you sit, and you sit, and you _wait_ for something good to happen.

It doesn't.

You have a lot of time to think, so that's what you do. About Tree Hill and basketball and _Haley._ You think about your old apartment you bought after you go emancipated, the river court and kissing in the rain. You think about that time when you got your buddies to kidnap Lucas and throw him in the mud.

Maybe that's why you're here.

You know it has something to do with Clay, they told you that. But that doesn't explain why they didn't do this to him or Quinn or a member of his family. So you think it may be down to fate. You've never been much of a believer, its more Lucas' thing. But right now you think you're starting to.

You think about the way you treated your brother the first half of junior year, you think about how much you hurt Peyton, you think about the fights you and Haley had because of your issues, you think about when you treated your mom like she didn't matter, you think about the way you were before you fell in love.

You were never sure what you did to deserve Haley.

So maybe this is some weird payback from the universe that wants to punish you for having her when someone else, someone _better_ should.

You like to think it's that, because if that's he reason you're being hurt, then you would take it.

But you know it's not.

Because having Haley when someone else should isn't the worst thing imaginable, you've done far, far worse.

You've took drugs, you've lied, you've cheated, and you've treated people like crap.

Now it's just your turn, that's all.

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><p>There's a clock in the corner of the room. You should be grateful for it, because you know at five pm Jamie will be at baseball practice and two pm is Lydia's nap time. But you're not, because it torments you. You start to think that maybe it's driving you a little insane. But you can't go insane, because something good will happen soon.<p>

It just hasn't yet.

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><p>The <em>tick, tock<em> is mainly the only sound you hear.

And that's why it torments you.

It doesn't at first, because you know when they're coming to bring you food and a smack in the face. But when they're gone, or asleep or playing video games while pointing a gun at you to make sure you don't try to escape, the sound is all that you begin to know.

One day, it's 2:48 am and it sneaks into your dreams of home and family and high school.

_Dad-_

Tick.

_dy!_

Tock.

Your head whips up as your eyes shoot open. ''Lydia?'' you call out desperately.

But no one responds.

''Lydia!''

Zoran snores get a little louder from his place on the couch across the room, the gun on the floor next to him, but he doesn't wake up.

And you sit and you listen and you _wait_ to hear it again.

You don't.

Because your little girl isn't here. She's at home, with your wife and your son and she's getting bigger and bigger each day and you're _missing it._ You're missing her laugh when you tickle her toes, you're missing her smile when she see's Davis and Jude, you're missing her learn new words.

You're missing everything that matters to you.

And you can't stop it.

* * *

><p>One of Zoran's friends come into the room one day, who laughs at your bruised face and bleeding lip. He has a camera in his hand, which he shows to Zoran and another guy in the room, and they laugh too.<p>

You don't say anything; you never say anything, because that's when they hurt you.

Zoran brings it over to you, chuckling darkly which makes you feel sick, because that's the same sound he makes when he knows he's going to torment you, and he's going to enjoy it.

He presses some buttons then that's when you see it. And your heart races and you almost smile, almost.

It's _Haley._

She's at the police station and she's walking towards the door. The wind's blowing through her hair and her expression is worn and she looks exhausted. Her wedding band is shining in the sun. It's your wife, and you wonder how you've managed to breathe for so long without seeing her face.

You look up at the man you despise more than anyone. Your throat is dry and it scrapes on the inside when you speak but you don't care, ''How did you get this?''

Zoran makes the sound.

But you've just seen Haley, and it doesn't hurt so much.

''I hired one of my buddies to keep an eye on her, to make sure she's not close to finding you.'' he drawled, smirking. ''I wish I would have done it now, because she's _fine._''

You bite the inside of your mouth, stopping yourself from doing something that might get you hurt. You need to stay alive for when you get saved. You need to stay alive for your kids. You need to stay alive for the woman that keeps you that way.

''Maybe I should,'' Zoran chuckled in torment again. ''No girls are easier than sad chicks.''

And that's when you lose it.

The ropes burn against your skin as you try and break free from the damn chair. You growl and you curse and you feel like an animal. ''You... you come near her,'' you begin to swear; using whatever breath you have left to sound threatening. ''And I'll kill you.''

The tormenting laugh is the last thing you hear before everything turns dark.

* * *

><p><em>Her hand isn't in yours as you head towards the entrance of the airport.<em>

_It doesn't feel right._

_She's by your side though, like she always is. But she's quiet, she's not rambling about the kids or work or that damn Tara that seems to be ruining everything these days. And you know why, because you're fighting._

_But that doesn't stop her from insisting on saying goodbye before you get on the plane to continue scouting for clients._

_And you wish you could forget about the fact that Dan, the man who killed your uncle and almost ruined your childhood, is living at your house right now. But you can't._

_So you kiss her gently, not saying anything, before turning to walk towards the doors._

_''Nathan,'' she calls, her tone pleading._

_You look at her and she smiles weakly. ''Be safe, okay?''_

_You nod silently._

_''I love you,'' she says, like she always does, and turns back towards their car._

_And you wish you would have said it back._

The memory plays with you at night, as you sit and you sit and you sit and you _wait_ for something good to happen.

It doesn't.


End file.
